Vaughn “Daddy, that Let’s Go Goat truck is the same color as yours!”
Tucker “Let’s Go Goat? What’s a Let’s Go Goat truck?”
Vaughn “It’s your truck.”
Tucker “What are you talking about?”
Vaughn “Your truck.”
Tucker “Yes, I KNOW you are talking about my truck, but why are you calling it a Let’s Go Goat truck?”
Vaughn “You know, the picture of the goat on the back of your truck?”
It dawns on me that I have a Ram Truck.
Tucker “Oh, I see what you mean!”
I take a minute to laugh at the wonderful, childish naïveté of my 5 year old girl, and appreciate this teaching moment I’m able to provide to her.
Tucker “No baby, that’s not a goat on my truck. It is picture of a Ram. That’s why its called a Ram Truck.”
Vaughn “No, it’s a picture of a goat. A Let’s Go Goat!”
Tucker “No baby, it’s not a goat, it’s a ram.”
Vaughn “Oh…Daddy, what’s a ram?”
Tucker “Well, it’s a….”
Goddammit.
She asked with such earnest innocence, I didn’t see her walk me into it until I was already there.
Vaughn “I didn’t hear you Daddy, what’s a ram?”
Tucker “A ram is…a male goat.”
Vaughn “Yeah, right, it’s a goat! A Let’s Go Goat!”
I shake my head, and before I can even say anything, my oldest wraps it in a perfect bow:
Bishop “No Vaughn, it’s a Poopy Daddy Goat Truck!”
And all of them in unison sing:
“Poopy Daddy Goat Truck! Poopy Daddy Goat Truck!”
I have to be honest, of all the possible outcomes for fatherhood, the one I did not bet on was “Tucker will have kids who become very skilled at trolling him.”
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NOTE: If you’re thinking that a ram is a male sheep, you are correct, that is the more common usage.
But it is also correct to call a male goat a ram as well (even though “billy” is the more common usage for conventional farm goats in America).
Yes, I could have debated her and “won” on this—at least in the short term.
But look, if I have to parse semantics to win a debate with a 5 year old, I have lost (not to mention, it would be horrible parenting).
_______
You can read the post that kicked off the Kid Karma series here.
