Lessons I’ve Learned, 131-135

Lesson Learned #131 Telling someone else how I think they should feel about something does not work. Listening to how they feel and attempting to understand their emotions and perspective can work. ‍ Lesson Learned #132 Every conflict in my life has been co-created. This is true even when it feels like the other person…

Lessons I’ve Learned, 126-130

Lesson I’ve Learned #126 A relationship that cannot tolerate a thoughtful conversation about needs, disappointments, and desires is not a healthy relationship. ‍ Lesson I’ve Learned #127 The only toxic relationship I can have is with myself. Every other relationship in my life is simply a reflection of the relationship I have with myself. Once…

Lessons I’ve Learned, 121-125

Lesson I’ve Learned #121 Perfectionism is a compensation for inferiority. I developed my perfectionism as a child to get a sense of control for feelings of overwhelming powerlessness. I thought, “If I’m perfect, I can avoid feeling shame, judgement, and abandonment.” Didn’t work. ‍ Lesson I’ve Learned #122 I like Buddha a lot. I like…

Lessons I’ve Learned, 116-120

Lesson I’ve Learned #116: Which pain do I want? The pain of staying the same, or the pain of growth? Part of me believes staying the same means no pain. That’s not true. It’s just different pain in a different way, at a different time. There’s always pain in life, I simply get to choose…

Lessons I’ve Learned, 111-115

Lesson I’ve Learned #111 For some reason I thought being courageous would be easy. That was quite wrong. ‍ Lesson I’ve Learned #112 Every time I accept one of my excuses, my regard for myself goes down. Every time I keep a commitment to myself, my regard for myself goes up. So simple to understand,…

Lessons I’ve Learned, 101-110

Lesson I’ve Learned #101 The world rewards the people who are best at telling stories about ideas, not the people with the best ideas. ‍ Lesson I’ve Learned #102 When I don’t know how to directly and clearly express what I need, what I often do is find ways to criticize others. Even though I…

Lessons I’ve Learned, 31-40

Lesson I’ve Learned #31: People say they want the truth, but only about others. For themselves, they want flattery. (h/t Carl Jung) Note: exceptions exist, and those people are rare treasures that I value highly and keep close–because they’re truly honest with me as well. ‍ Lesson I’ve Learned #32: I say “I don’t know”…

Lessons I’ve Learned, 41-50

Lesson I’ve Learned #41: When I want to engage people with a story, I don’t tell people what they should do. I tell people what I did. No one wants to be lectured or told what to do. We all want to see the inspiring and honest failures (and successes) of others. ‍ Lesson I’ve…

Lessons I’ve Learned, 51-60

Lesson I’ve Learned #51: If you don’t have an assistant, you are one. If you don’t make much money, this is fine—good even. If you do make a lot of money, you are paying way too much for an assistant. (h/t Dan Sullivan) ‍ Lesson I’ve Learned #52: There’s nothing that inspires trust in a…

Lessons I’ve Learned, 61-70

Lesson I’ve Learned #61: I used to try to save people. To convince them they could succeed. To inspire them to take action in their lives. I thought I was doing it to help them, but I was fooling myself. It was selfish (and arrogant). I was doing this to avoid my own issues. I…