This is from my first book, I Hope They Serve Beer In Hell (book here) (audiobook here) I used to think that Red Bull was the most destructive invention of the past 50 years. I was wrong. Red Bull has been usurped by the portable alcohol breathalyzer. The same device that cops have been using…
“There is no good in anything until it is finished.”-Genghis Khan If you read Hilarity Ensues (or the big profile on me in Forbes) you know that I am now retired from writing anymore stories about drinking, partying, fucking, and hooking up. In case you haven’t read that book yet, here’s what I said:…
This is from my second book, Assholes Finish First. Buy it on Amazon. We all have dreams. Martin Luther King dreamt of racial harmony. Larry Hagman dreamt of Jeannie. For over a decade, I dreamt of fucking a midget. One weekend in July of 2006, I finally achieved my dream. I was at the…
This is from my first book, I Hope They Serve Beer In Hell (book here) (audiobook here) This story catalogs a Friday night that completely changed my life. It is divided into two parts for easier comprehension. The first part is a little slow, but be patient, the payoff at the end is WELL worth…
This is from my first book, I Hope They Serve Beer In Hell (book here) (audiobook here) Everything I am about to tell you is true. This is the complete and unadulterated story, as I can best remember it, behind my infamous summer with Fenwick & West and the very famous “Tucker Max Charity Auction…
