Lessons I've Learned, 91-100

February 12, 2020
Lessons Learned

Lesson I've Learned #91

My external beliefs towards and about others represent my inner beliefs about myself.

For example, I'm hard on others to do better, because I'm so hard on myself.

Once I realized everyone else does this too, it was like being able to see past their masks into people's souls.

Lesson I've Learned #92

Whenever I seem to get the same life test over and over, it's almost always because I've not learned a lesson I need to learn, or made a change I need to make.

Once I focus on the test, then I make the change, and the test goes away.

Lesson I've Learned #93

The last few years--especially the last few months--have shown many people a lesson I learned during my first run at fame:

Most credentialed "experts" are dumb outside their specialty, clueless how their specialty interacts with the world, and mindlessly parrot the positions of their status hierarchy.

(h/t Nassim Taleb)

Lesson I've Learned #94

Maybe the lesson I resisted the longest, but have finally come to accept, is that we only let ourselves have what we believe we deserve. And not just consciously, but subconsciously as well.

This one led to many, many hard realizations.

Lesson I've Learned #95

I learned many lessons over the past two months, but one that hit the hardest: I was hiding.

I was hiding from who I could be. I was hiding because I was afraid I wouldn't be good enough to fill the shoes of my destiny.

It took these past two months for me to see it and admit it to myself, and that was not fun to do, but there's no going back.

Truth seen, cannot be unseen.

Lesson I've Learned #96

I asked myself this question yesterday: "What will it take for you to be happy with yourself?"

As I answered, I realized that if I can't feel that way right now--at this moment--I won't be able to ever.

That feeling doesn't come from the outside.

Lesson I've Learned #97

I used to love the feeling of being a harsh judge of others.

Then I realized what I was doing—using judgment of others to avoid facing the judgment I had for myself.

Lesson I've Learned #98

Almost all of my fighting with other people has nothing to do with them. It's actually me using them as a proxy to fight with myself.

Lesson I've Learned #99

I remember when I discovered my beliefs are not mine.

I started pulling the thread of what I believed, asking myself why I believed it--and realized it was all stuff I heard, or was told, or had adopted by default. My beliefs were someone else’s beliefs programmed into me.

I continued to pull the thread, asking why, until I discarded everything not mine.

I was left with very few beliefs.

But the ones I kept are mine.

Lesson I've Learned #100

On March 8th, 2020I laughed at the idea sports leagues would shut down.

On April 8th, 2020 I would've watched Kentucky Dirt Clod Chucking if it were live.

On May 8th, 2020 I’ve nearly forgotten sports exist.

Habits can change fast.

The point of sharing these lessons is to help others on their journey. If you know someone who could benefit from a lesson, please forward this blog post to them.

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Tucker Max

Tucker Max is the co-founder of Scribe Media, a company that helps you write, publish, and market your book.  

He's written four New York Times Best Sellers (three hit #1), which have sold over 4.5 million copies worldwide. He's credited with being the originator of the literary genre, “fratire,” and is only the fourth writer (including Malcolm Gladwell, Michael Lewis and Brene Brown) to ever have three books on the New York Times Nonfiction Best Seller List at one time. He was nominated to the Time Magazine 100 Most Influential List in 2009.

He received his BA from the University of Chicago in 1998, and his JD from Duke Law School in 2001. He currently lives in Austin, Texas, with his wife Veronica and three children.


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