Lessons I've Learned, 51-60

February 12, 2020
Lessons Learned

Lesson I've Learned #51:

If you don't have an assistant, you are one.

If you don't make much money, this is fine—good even.

If you do make a lot of money, you are paying way too much for an assistant. (h/t Dan Sullivan)

Lesson I've Learned #52:

There's nothing that inspires trust in a team like firing a disrespectful client. We have not fired many at Scribe, less than 10 out of 1500+, and every one hurt financially, but all brought us  closer.

It's a meaningful signal that people come first.

Lesson I've Learned #53:

Whenever I find myself trying hard to push someone to do something I've done, I know one thing: I'm insecure about my decision to do that thing.

And the harder I push, the more insecure about it I am.

I'm pushing them to validate my own decision, usually because I don't realize my insecurity. (h/t Philip McKernan)

Lesson I've Learned #54:

The actual point of "news" media is not to inform, but to make a claim about status. "News" argues—explicitly or implicitly—that a person or thing should be higher or lower status.

When I learned that, I saw through the "news" to the agenda behind it.

Lesson I've Learned #55:

I used to think I didn't have negative self talk. I was wrong. I had an immense amount...I just called it "being honest with myself" or "doing a great job."

I wasn't. I was hurting myself with my thoughts.

Lesson I've Learned #56:

When I encounter someone with a deep need to control or dominate others, I know this: they felt powerless at some point, it wounded them, and this is their solution.

Rarely is the connection conscious to them (this was true for me too).

Lesson I've Learned #57:

The most important decision in my life is who I spend my time with.

The most important actions I take are what I do to make sure I create value for them (my work, both personal and professional).

Everything else is noise.

Lesson I've Learned #58:

I try not to pay attention to the trophy.

Instead, I pay attention to the target.

This is because when I pay attention to the target, I hit it, and get the trophy.

But when I pay attention to the trophy, I miss the target, and get nothing. (h/t Zen Buddhism, lol)

Lesson I've Learned #59:

When I'm in emotional pain, I'm usually resisting a realization or feeling. The pain is my body pushing the realization/feeling through my resistance.

For me, emotional pain is a signal to stop fighting and start listening to my body. (H/t every therapist ever)

Lesson I've Learned #60:

Everything most people do is to avoid feelings they don't want to feel.

Drugs, alcohol, gambling, of course. But sex, success, prestige, status...all of it.

That used to be my whole life too--an endless race to avoid feelings I didn't want to feel.

The point of sharing these lessons is to help others on their journey. If you know someone who could benefit from a lesson, please forward this blog post to them.

To get the Lessons Learned posts in your email, sign up here.

Tucker Max

Tucker Max is the co-founder of Scribe Media, a company that helps you write, publish, and market your book.  

He's written four New York Times Best Sellers (three hit #1), which have sold over 4.5 million copies worldwide. He's credited with being the originator of the literary genre, “fratire,” and is only the fourth writer (including Malcolm Gladwell, Michael Lewis and Brene Brown) to ever have three books on the New York Times Nonfiction Best Seller List at one time. He was nominated to the Time Magazine 100 Most Influential List in 2009.

He received his BA from the University of Chicago in 1998, and his JD from Duke Law School in 2001. He currently lives in Austin, Texas, with his wife Veronica and three children.

Related Posts

Get New Posts In Your Email

Thank you! Your submission has been received!

Oops! Something went wrong while submitting the form