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Sloppy Seconds: The Tucker Max Leftovers

Book Description

Tucker Max’s books—I Hope They Serve Beer In Hell, Assholes Finish First, and Hilarity Ensues—are a uniquely engaging trilogy composed of his best, craziest stories. They’ve sold millions of copies to fans all over the world. Their success has meant his success.

As a thank you to those who have loved the stories and supported him for so long, Tucker has gone back through his massive archive of material one last time, culled out what you might call the “best of the rest,” and arranged it here, in Sloppy Seconds, like a book version of Deleted Scenes.

Unlike most deleted scenes, however, these don’t suck. So enjoy.

Sloppy Seconds: The Tucker Max Leftovers

Release Date: February 7, 2012

Table of Contents

  • Why Is This Book Free?
  • The Good Stuff
    • From I Hope They Serve Beer In Hell: “Tucker tries buttsex, hilarity does not ensue”
    • From Assholes Finish First: “Tucker goes to campout, owns Duke nerds”
    • From Hilarity Ensues: “Sexting with Tucker Max”
  • The Leftovers
    • Tucker goes to Muslim wedding, drinks anyway
    • Nantucket Sucks
    • Fuck the fucking headboard
    • The Junior Stories
      • LA Sucks
      • Junior and the French Whore
      • How Iron Chef Morimoto (and Junior) got me kicked out of my own charity event
      • Junior’s Marriage
    • Some glimpses into my childhood
      • MOM!
      • I just like to say ‘smock’
      • Guacamole is delicious
      • How I learned to masturbate
      • Ambi-jerk-strous
    • The Marley Stories
      • Doggy Basics
      • Why responsibility can suck
      • Marley goes to dog park, humps everything
      • Marley goes to bar, finally earns his keep
      • Ugly girl hits on Tucker, is duped
      • Dog people don’t have a sense of humor
    • Dude, we are drinking too much
    • I scored at The Swamp!
    • Tucker goes to doctor, hilarity ensues
    • The Blowjob Interludes
    • The Fat Girl Leftovers
      • Fat AND Racist
      • The Tucker Max Diet
    • Girl determined to fuck Tucker
    • Funny Odds & Ends
    • Tucker debates postmodernism, wrestles midgets
    • The DBA Story
    • Homeless people are good for something
    • Boyfriend copies Tucker
      • Not All Imitation Is Flattering
      • So What Gave It Away?
      • Sometimes the Truth Does Hurt
    • The time I got arrested at O’Hare Airport
    • My real life law school application essay
  • Special Bonus: More SlingBlade Stuff
    • The Hulk
    • Slingblade
    • 10 Things I Hate About You
    • Black Hawk Down
    • Brotherhood of the Wolf