I have been getting a ton of email and what not about this new movie, "John Tucker Must Die." Lots of people seem to think that because my name is in the title, and the movie is about a player, then it must be ripped from my life and that I should sue Hollywood for all they have.
People, there is such thing as coincidence. But let's examine the plots points of the movie, and see how they correlate to my life:
John Tucker = His story is set in high school
Tucker Max = Has yet to write a single story about high school
John Tucker = Playboy who cheats on several girls
Tucker Max = Asshole who makes a point of being honest with girls
John Tucker = According to the trailer, he lost his virginity to the prom queen and the homecoming queen on the same night.
Tucker Max = What fucking retard wrote that line? Is Hollywood that out of touch with reality?
John Tucker = Metro who wears all the right clothes and uses way too much product
Tucker Max = Wears tshirts and has never used product in his life
John Tucker = Triumphs over superior athletes in completely unrealistic basketball scenes
Tucker Max = Has played basketball against superior athletes, and in a very realistic fashion, was soundly beaten by them
John Tucker = Gets owned in the least imaginative way possible by three high school girls
Tucker Max = Please. If I ever let three teenage girls get the best of me, I'll just fucking retire. That being said, I have been owned by post-op tranny's, embarassed post-college lovers, and other assorted scorned women. But at least they weren't Hollywood high school creations.
Posted by Tucker Max at 10:37 AM