The only reason I am telling you this story is because I was an innocent witness, and really had nothing to do with it. Had I been the protagonist, I would most assuredly NOT tell it:
Last night my friends and I were at a place called Cherry Red. An all-around average Tucker night out; excessive drinking, rambunctious behavior, some girls loving us, some girls hating us, and everyone paying attention to us. As we leave, out front is a black Escalade, with Cadillac's new "I have no talent, but I want to be a rapper anyway" option package--chrome 24 inch rims, solid black tinted windows, frog-eye lights, etc.
It is jerking back and forth, and a crowd is gathering around it. Everyone is looking inside, laughing, gawking, and calling to their friends. I walk over as everyone starts chanting, "GO! GO! GO! GO! GO!," and peer inside to see some guy screwing a fat girl donkey style and pointing to the crowd gathered around his Escalade, laughing and having a great old time. He "finishes" pretty quickly after that, then crawls into the front seat, starts up his SUV, rolls down the window, throws the used condom into crowd, and peels off. I think the condom hit someone in the head.
It's moments like this that make me proud to be human.
Posted by at 12:32 AM