I get emails from guys all the time asking me how I get laid so much or how I get girls or questions like that. Aside from pointing to the relevant advice threads, I always tell guys that its not about money or looks or even power--it's about how you carry yourself. I try to explain to them that even though I am pretty awesome, I don't do anything that they can't do. There is no fucking magic to this, it just takes the right attitude and a little practice. A perfect example of the verity of this statement happened to me today:
I went to Target to buy some clothes. No really, I went clothes shopping at Target. You see, I have this problem with girls. They come over, fuck me, and leave. That isn't the problem--the problem is that they ALWAYS seem to wear my clothes when they go, specifically my mesh basketball shorts and my white t-shirts [If you know me enough to hang out with me, you know that this is what I wear 90% of the time I am clothed].
This drives me nuts. Not only does it present logistical problems in finding clothes to wear, especially clean ones, but I happen to love my workout shorts. Many of them have (usually ridiculous) sentimental sports meaning to me and I don't want to lose them. I hide them, threaten the girls, try to undress them when they leave...it doesn't seem to matter. I constantly have to buy new shorts.
I used to buy nice East Bay lacrosse or Under Armour shorts, but realizing that I was throwing my money away, I stopped that long ago. Now I go to Target and get the $10 Champion mesh shorts. They are almost as comfortable as the nice $30 shorts, but when women steal them, it's not a big deal.
Today I did my monthly shorts run, picking up about six pair, in addition to ten plain white t-shirts. I picked not the shortest check out line, but the one with the hot Latina working it--there aren't enough attractive women in Chicago to pass up the chance to flirt with one.
Now follow along as I dissect a typical encounter. I know you can't see this on video, so I will go step by step through the conversation and try to explain everything.
Tucker "How are you doing?"
Girl "Good. You?"
Tucker "Pretty good."
My demeanor is calm and genuine, what some might call cool, but not what you would think of as stereotypically "cool." I don't act aloof or bored like a poser thinks a "cool" guy is supposed to act; instead I engage the girl in conversation and treat her like a normal person. I act as though I am comfortable with myself, because I am.
Furthermore, I give her a small smile to help get her over that 'stranger' vibe that all girls think at first about unknown guys. But I DO NOT take that "small smile" and make it into "weird stalker stare." There is a big difference between being nice and being overbearing and weird.
Girl "You play a lot of basketball?"
See? I engaged her first and opened the door for her to engage me back. Had I said nothing to her, she probably would not have taken the initiative to start a conversation with me. Most people will follow, but very few people will lead, even if they are interested.
Tucker "I used to yeah, but not so much anymore. All of these are because women always steal my clothes."
Girl "Steal your clothes?"
Tucker "Come on, you're a beautiful girl, you know what I'm talking about--you spend the night at a guys place and wear his clothes home in the morning."
In the first sentence I give her a leading but incomplete explanation to her question, which prompts her to ask me a follow-up question. I am setting her to chase, so instead of me pursuing her, she feels like she's coming after me. But more importantly, this allows me to explain why I have the shorts without having to give a cold explanation, which would sound like pompous bragging if I offered it without being prompted.
When she bites on my lead, I begin with a casual backhanded compliment, which lets her know I am into her without the awkwardness and perceived weakness of the upfront compliment. Had I just said, "You are beautiful" I would have been dead in the water. Only douche bags say that to women that they don't know and just met. I let her know I think she's hot without really saying it, which is the best way to do it with a girl you just met.
In my explanation as to why I have to buy so many shorts, I set myself up as an alpha male, one of the 10% of the guys who does 90% of the fucking. By telling her that I need to regularly buy new "take home" clothes for girls because so many women are into me, I am telling her how much I fuck, without actually saying it. I am letting her know that I'm that guy, the one that gets lots of girls. That's the thing about women--they all want to fuck who the other girls want to fuck.
But notice that I do this without being cheesy. Think about it: She brought up the subject of my shorts, I only hinted at the actual reason even though it is obvious from what I said, and the way I said it, it couldn't have been staged. Besides, how many times has she seen a guy come in and not only have to buy shorts because he fucks so many girls--but casually admit to it?
Also, look at the way I phrase it: I'm again setting her up as the pursuer. At this point if she's into me, she can go further with her flirting, or if she's disgusted, the conversation ends. I am not pressuring her, I am letting her chase me, but I'm also letting her know I'm into her. Most girls don't like to be pursued to heavily at first; they like to play a coy game of advance and retreat, to test your game. By holding off your charge early, you can come hard late.
Girl "Is this all with the same girl?"
Tucker [sarcastically] "Huh...yeah."
Girl "Well can't you get your shorts back from these girls?"
Tucker "I wish. Come on; don't act like you don't have some boys shorts somewhere in your closet."
Look what she did: She doesn't flat out ask me if I have a girlfriend, she kinda backs into it. This implies that she is interested; women don't ask personal details about guys they don't care about.
Also, though she is into me, she is probing to see if I am full of shit--a true alpha male would never say something like, "ONE GIRL! I FUCK HUNDREDS!" It may be true, but girls don't want to hear it. They want you to be wanted by other women, but necessarily to be actually fucking all those women, or at the very least, not be the type of guy who brags about it.
Now guys, do you see how I respond? Up to this point I haven't been aggressive, instead I've let her initiate most of the flirting and set her up at the aggressor, but her reply changes that. When a woman asks you about your relationship status, she is into you and is telling you it's OK to flirt further.
My response is the first aggressive move I make--I dismiss the notion that I am in a committed relationship, I display my dominance with slight teasing, and put the flirt ball back in her court by letting her know that I know she hooks up. This also places a subconscious thought in her head about hooking up. Now she's thinking about it.
Girl "Maybe...but it's been awhile for me...but yeah, I might have something somewhere."
By saying "it's been awhile for me" she is telling me to ask about her. Guys--if you know how to read the signs, women are very clear about what they want you to do. The problem is that most men have no idea how to read women, while women think they are being clear about it to men.
The second clause of her sentence is even more telling. I don't think this was an intentional sign; that was a subconscious admission that she is seriously considering fucking me. It lets me know that later on I should make an authoritative move.
Tucker "Been awhile? Why?"
Girl "Uh...longtime boyfriend."
Here is where most guys falter. A girl plays the boyfriend card and they fold up and go home. But why? Fuck that, go for it. Why not? She has already established that she is into me by repeatedly continuing to flirt when I gave her opportunities to bail. At this point, if I go forward, there are only two things that can happen:
1. She fucks me.
2. She rejects me.
What's the worst that can happen? She says no? And if she does--so what? We all get rejected at times, it's not a big deal. Babe Ruth struck out over 1300 times. But he stepped up to the plate and took his cuts...which is also why he hit 714 home runs.
If anything, her playing the boyfriend card should make me MORE aggressive. Fellas, let me explain something: If you know anything about women, you should know that one of the easiest types of women to sleep with is the one in an unhappy relationship.
I am Tucker Max, you better know what I did.
Tucker "I don't see why that has to stop you."
I say the sentence with a calm but authoritative manner; my delivery is pretty dead pan without being cheesy or backing into it. This lets her know I am serious, and I'll fuck her if she is into it.
This is a bold move, but in this case, it's the right call. At a bar I would have been more subtle, but in a check out line at Target I only have a few minutes, so I have to move quickly. She's already given me conscious and subconscious signals of attraction, this is the moment of truth, and I seize it.
The look on her face was money--a mix of surprise and arousal. She was definitely into it, but I don't think she'd made up her mind one way or the other. I had to act fast, mainly because there were people in line behind me. Besides, taking control of a situation is a great way to show how much of an alpha male you are.
Tucker "What's your name?"
Girl "Inez."
Tucker "Inez, my name is Tucker. What time do you get off?"
Inez "7pm."
Tucker [I grab a pen from a cup and tear off some paper from her register tape] "Here is my number. I live right around the corner. Call me when you get off."
Girl "Uh, well...ok..."
Tucker "I'll talk to you soon."
And I just walked out, giving her a little smile as I left. Notice how I did NOT say something cheesy like "maybe you can come over and take a pair of shorts home with you." Oh Christ--make me fucking gag.
I've done things like this hundreds of times in my life. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't. I am good at doing this now, at age 29, because I've had tons of practice. When I was 19 I was fucking terrible, but with I've practiced a lot (and failed a lot). My current skill is a combination of experience, charm, and personality, but nothing I do is magical, and there is nothing I do in this area that any other relatively normal guy cannot do as well.
It's not looks, its not money, it's not power--it's about how you carry yourself. For fucks sake, this happened on a weekday at noon, I was unshaven, unshowered and dressed like a bum and she was working a register at Target. But none of that matters: It's about what kind of man you are.
As I write this, it is 10pm. She just left. Freshly fucked, but without any of my shorts.
Like I said: Sometimes you strike out, sometimes you hit a home run, but you'll never do anything unless you step up to the plate.
Now read the whole thing again, without my commentary:
Tucker "How are you doing?"
Girl "Good. You?"
Tucker "Pretty good."
Girl [checking out my shorts] "You play a lot of basketball?"
Tucker "I used to yeah, but not so much anymore. All of these are because women always steal my clothes."
Girl "Steal your clothes?"
Tucker "Come on, you're a beautiful girl, you know what I'm talking about--you spend the night at a guys place and wear his clothes home in the morning."
Girl "Is this all with the same girl?"
Tucker [sarcastically] "Huh...yeah."
Girl "Well can't you get your shorts back from these girls?"
Tucker "I wish. Come on; don't act like you don't have some boys shorts somewhere in your closet."
Girl "Maybe...but it's been awhile for me...but yeah, I might have something somewhere."
Tucker "Been awhile? Why?"
Girl "Longtime boyfriend."
Tucker "I don't see why that has to stop you."
[She gives me a look of shock and attraction]
Tucker "What's your name?"
Girl "Inez."
Tucker "Inez, my name is Tucker. What time do you get off?"
Inez "7pm."
Tucker [I grab a pen from a cup and tear off some paper from her register tape] "Here is my number. I live right around the corner. Call me when you get off."
Girl "Uh, ok..."
Tucker "I'll talk to you soon."
Maybe two minutes of conversation. Fellas--it really can be that simple.
EDIT: I am going to eventually have to expand this discussion, but it has spawned all sorts of emails from guys who are totally missing my point. Look, all I am saying by showing you this example is that it is easy to meet girls who want to fuck, and to fuck them, as long as you are confident with yourself and practice a little. I am not telling this story so you can go out and try to act like me, I am just trying to give an example of what is possible to all the guys who email me asking about game.
Posted by Tucker Max at 1:24 AM