This page owes its entire existence to a bet entered into by myself and a friend of mine, who I will call "Amy."

A few days after I ended another in the seemingly endless three week relationships I have with the seemingly endless stream of girls I meet, Amy and I were discussing how I should procure another of these said relationships. Amy had recently been browsing the Internet (looking for lesbian donkey porn, no doubt) and came across a date page where a girl asks guys to fill out an application to go out on a date with her. She suggested I put up a site just like it. I suggested she forcefully insert large pieces of jagged rock salt into her rectum.

She called me out. Dared me to put one up. Said I didn't have the sack to do such a thing. Questioned the very essence of my existence.

I formalized the bet, and here we are. What was the bet for? Possibly the coolest thing ever:

1. If the page went up, Amy had to perform during amateur night at a strip club of my choice. And by perform, I mean she had to get on stage, strip naked, and dance.

2. If I didn't put the page up, I had to perform at amateur night at a male strip club of her choice (Yes, thank you, we have a fucked up friendship. Do you think there's some sexual tension here?).

3. Furthermore, if I put the page up, and then subsequently take it down before I graduate from law school, we BOTH have to perform at strip clubs.

Well, for about six months, I thought I had the bet won. I put the page up, and it was doing great. Amy was scared shitless. Apparently she has some self-respect, and doesn't want to strip. She figured that if she could make me take the page down and lose the bet, I would let her off her end in exchange for her letting me off my end. So in an attempt to get me to take the page down, she submitted my web site to about a hundred matchmaking/date pages. As well as every search engine on the Internet. And a bunch of Adult "Friend-Finder" sites. Despite the fact that my inbox was flooded with creepy emails from some really hideous girls, and guys, I kept it up. Despite the fact that she told all our friends from high school about the site, I kept it up. And despite the fact that she told MY MOTHER about the site, who then called me in tears, I STILL KEPT IT UP.

But then something happened and I had to take down the page. No, I won't tell you what happened. Let's just say that I hated being a lawyer anyway, and leave it at that.

So what happened? Have we stripped yet?

No. Amy has completely chickened out, and won't strip, pretty much ensuring that I won't strip either. She has a husband now and he doesn't like me and blah, blah, blah, blah. Pussy.

Just for the record, I would strip. I would even go first, assuming that I could be guaranteed that she would go also. But I know that she won't go through with her end of the bet, so I'm not going to strip until she does, or at least gives me some way to GUARANTEE that she will after I do.

Hear that, "AMY?"