Rice and Philly both went great
The Philly party went great this weekend, a bunch of people showed up, everyone got drunk, etc, etc. Nothing big to report, except that of course, the bar did not run out of alcohol. Obviously, since this party was not thrown by a lazy-eyed blueberry douchebag.
One thing did happen that was funny. The girl I hooked up with Friday night, as we were going back to the hotel, had this exchange:
Girl "You do realize your life will never be the same after tonight right?"
Tucker "Why? Do you have AIDS?"
As for the Rice Speech on Wednesday, it went very well also. I got an email that did a great job of summing it up. This is copied and pasted verbatim:
"Tucker,
I'm sure the last thing you need is an ego boost but I just wanted to give you some feedback on the speech at Rice. All in all, you were pretty damn impressive. The sceptisism that came from reading stories that are almost to rediculous to believe disappeared when you told them in person. I know there was a bit of preaching to the choir or shooting fish in a barrel, but goddamn you played that audience like a stratovarous.
I also noticed that the crowd wasn't just college guys looking to challenge you to a drinking contest. First there was the faculty and staff lurking around the fringe trying to find out what the hell was going on, then there were the grad students stroking their goatees and making Lothario references, the sorostitutes dressed in thier Broadway finest screaming for validation and telling each other they would never sleep with a guy who just took his hanes tagless out of the target package while jockeying for position to see who would catch your load followed by the frat boys with a case of Shiner hoping you'll ask for one and the wonderdork twins sitting next to me swilling manishevitz everytime you say fuck. You seemed really comfortable being the center of attention and you were definitely quick on the draw with the comebacks. The comment about Rice undergrad being next on your to do list was perfect, and when you decimated that bitch that wouldn't shut the fuck up about Chicago you had everybody cracking up.
I didn't get a chance to hit up the bar afterward, but I wonder if the smokey eyed cougar with the huge fake rack that was eye humping you ever showed up. Anyway, thought you would like to know, maybe you could work a Q&A into your next book tour. If it wasn't for the excessive finger to nose interaction and the tiny hands flying all over the place while you made up words, that would have been one of the best speeches I've ever heard in person, but it was still a great performance."
A few comments:
-My shirt was indeed a Hanes tagless white T, but I bought it at Wal-Mart, not Target.
-The smokey eyed cougar did indeed make it to the bar, and her approach was excellent. I was at a table with some Rice kids, and she sent her friend over with a note that said this:
"I don't want to hang out with 18 year olds all night" --Tucker Max
*I need my book signed. At the bar -- text me when you get a chance. ***-***-****, Catherine."
She quoted something I wrote earlier in the week back to me. Very nice. And she was very good in bed.
-The dude totally called it--my hand to nose thing was an issue. I have pretty bad allergies and my nose was running during the speech, so I kept fucking with it. And then of course, halfway through I realized that I looked like a cokehead constantly messing with my nose, which made me self-conscious about it, which only made it worse. Pretty funny that he called me out on that.
EDIT: I forgot to mention, someone actually counted and said that there were 270+ people there. That may not seem like a lot, until yo uconsider that Rice's undergrad population is 2700. I drew 10% of the school. We actually had to move rooms because the original room was way too small.
That means that I still have yet to draw less than 200 at a public appearance. Ironcially, the place I drew the least was my alma mater, the University of Chicago.
