There is a bar in Chicago called Parkway that has turtle races every Thursday. They put these turtles in a circle, and the first one to reach the edge of the circle wins. Between races, they keep all of the turtles in this big fish tank. This girl goes over and starts talking to the turtles in between races, so I walk over to the turtle tank, and the conversation goes like this:

Me "What are you doing?"
Girl "I'm talking to the turtles."
Me "Did they tell you to kill hookers? That's what they tell me."

She left. Mortified. I thought it was funny.

Posted by at 11:19 PM

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