Here are some new things I just added to the FAQ, in response to the emails I keep getting:

Where can I buy Belligerence and Debauchery and The Definitive Book of Pick-Up Lines?
You can't. They are out of print, on purpose. I took B&D out of print because it was nothing more than reprints of stories already on my site. I took The Definitive Book of Pick-Up Lines out of print because it was fairly amateurish, and I didn't want my name on it without substantially improving it. I think you can get these used in some places, but I would NOT recommend buying either. B&D is all on my site, and the pick-up line book is kinda crappy. Just go buy I Hope They Serve Beer In Hell, it's awesome.

Is I Hope They Serve Beer In Hell just the same stories from your site?
No. I've said this countless times, but some people have problems listening. IHTSBIH is 27 stories, 12 of which are brand new and cannot be found anywhere except the book (about 150 pages of the 277 page book is new). And they aren't crappy stories either; several of the new ones rank up there with the best stuff I have ever written.

You aren't so great. I would be just as cool/famous/rich as you if I had a trust fund also.
I don't understand this comment. Where have I ever said I have a trust fund? Shit, I WISH I had a fucking trust fund; I would love it if I had enough Fuck You Money to tell all these studios and publishers to kiss my ass. The last time my parents gave me money was in college. I got a scholarship to law school, took out loans to pay for my living expenses, and ran up massive credit card debt to fuel my adventures (that I still haven't paid off). When I first put up my site I worked bullshit odd jobs to make enough money to live, and then once my site blew up and I put ads on it, now I make a pretty decent amount from that, and OK money from the book sales and other projects I have in the works. Everything I have, I earned through hard work and smart strategy. But seriously--if any of you know of any trust fund with my name on it, show me where it is. I'll even give you a finders fee.

Hey Tucker, can you help me with this problem, you see [insert lame ass high school/college issue].
Look people, I really do appreciate emails and feedback, but I do not have the time to personally answer the dozens of requests for help I get each day, especially the retarded relationship questions I get from 15 year olds. Beyond that, I am just some random dude who writes funny stories. Why do people ask me things like how to make enough money to afford medical care for their crippled sister (a real email I got)? If you insist on asking me for advice, then at leat take the time to read my Advice Board first, it covers most of the things that I know enough to give advice about, like fucking, drinking, and writing.

How many STD's do you have/do you have AIDS? You MUST have a bunch because of all the sex you have.
This question always cracks me up. People, I am not going to get into a lecture about sexually transmitted diseases, but be careful who you believe. A lot of the info you find on this subject comes from sources with an agenda (e.g. religious groups, conservative abstinence groups, etc). But no, I do not have any STD's that I know of, and yes, I get tested regularly. It's actually pretty easy to avoid STD's if you just USE A FUCKING CONDOM. And tons of girls I fuck get tested after fucking me, and none has ever come up positive for anything. Well, unless you count pregnancy as an STD.

Posted by Tucker Max at 5:13 PM

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