Last night I had a relatively calm night with my friend Brian and some of his friends--aside from one spectacular conversation.

We were walking into a bar when I stopped to take a piss on a tree. These two girls walked by and gave me a sideways glance, then kept walking. About 50 feet down the sidewalk, they turned and asked us to take a picture of them, but instead of handing us a camera they just started talking to us. They were OK looking, and at least one had some personality, so we went with it and invited them into the bar with us to get drinks.

It was painfully clear after about ten minutes that neither were going to fuck me that night, and since they weren't good looking enough to invest any effort in beyond immediate sexual gratification, I got bored. What happens when I get bored talking to marginal girls? Exactly.

I forget specifically what it was that finally crossed the line with one of the girls...I think it was when I said that her Chinese character tattoo meant "whore brand" instead of "hell cat" as she claimed, and she got all pissed at me. Or it might have been when they told me they went to Loyola law school, and I told them they'd have been better off getting their law degree in the mail.

Whatever it was that pissed her off, she started castigating me and then it happened:

Girl #1 "You totally blew your chance. There you were peeing on a tree, and these two very hot girls walked in front of you and--"
Girl #2 "What hot girls?"
Girl #1 "US!"
Girl #2 "Oh...yeah."
Tucker "HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH! That was going to be my question too! WHAT HOT GIRLS! HAHAHHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHA! You are the first honest woman I've met in years--God bless you."

Girl #2 had one of those fleeting moments of honesty that are so rare in women. She turned bright red, tried to reverse her position, but it was over.

My night was made.

Posted by Tucker Max at 9:12 PM

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